When Fatherhood is Half-Hearted: My Journey with Inconsistent Co-Parenting

Hello everybody, how are you doing? How are you feeling? Tonight, I want to share what’s on my mind because I miss you all and cherish these moments of real conversation. You all understand me in a way no one else does, and that makes our connection so special. It’s refreshing to be able to share these real, raw feelings with you all. We know that motherhood and co-parenting are not always pretty, but in sharing these experiences, we make it easier for others to not feel so alone.

A Shocking Update in My Life

Recently, something crazy happened. My ex—whom I once trusted—told me he’s having a child. I congratulated him on his new baby and his discovery. But honestly, I couldn’t help but feel that this news has absolutely nothing to do with me.The shock I felt wasn’t about the new baby; it was about the emotional disconnect that comes when someone you’ve shared such an important part of your life with shows no real accountability or commitment. It’s like living in a reality where you’re expected to move on but not given the space to fully do so.

I feel like this man expects me to care more than I truly do, and it puzzles me. Why would he assume I’d be excited about something that I didn’t give birth to? Sure, I’d be happy for him if we could have a strong, consistent co-parenting relationship, where he steps in financially, emotionally, and actively for our child. But he hasn’t done any of that.The issue is that he’s expecting to skip over all the hard work that should’ve been done before this moment. You can’t just expect someone to jump on board because of a title or a new child—true involvement requires building trust and consistency over time.

The Problem of Inconsistency

I believe that parental responsibility means showing up consistently—not just for Instagram photos or to boast about having a child. Our relationship has lacked structure: we’ve never had a proper parenting schedule. The only time my daughter even met him was during an occasional holiday, visit at his mother’s house.Real parenting isn’t about the highlights. It’s the small moments—the day-to-day actions—that count. That’s the difference between showing up for the world and showing up for your child.

Now, he expects me to bend over backwards so that my child can meet his new baby. But for me, the priority is clear: my daughter deserves a stable, nurturing relationship with her father. It’s not my responsibility to fix a broken co-parenting arrangement that he never bothered to create.No child should have to bear the emotional weight of inconsistency. If you claim to care about your children, you owe them the consistency and structure they need to thrive.

The Impact on My Child and Me

I’m sorry, but I’m not here to suffer secondhand embarrassment for someone who isn’t willing to put in the hard work of fatherhood. I care deeply about the relationship I have with what came out of me, and I refuse to let my daughter be used as a pawn for someone who wants social media praise over genuine responsibility.The emotional toll is real, and it’s a struggle that many of us parents, especially single mothers, understand all too well. When you’re the one left to do the heavy lifting, it can feel incredibly isolating. But in the end, our children’s emotional well-being comes first.

This man has two children with two different women, and he’s creating broken families. If he wants his kids to have any chance at a united, healthy future, he needs to step up and work on building a solid structure—not just talk about it.It’s heartbreaking to see how this cycle of broken commitments continues. The truth is, when the foundation is cracked, it takes work to fix it. No amount of excuses can change that.

I asked for a consistent visitation schedule with my daughter before I’d even consider him picking her up to meet his new child. His girlfriend’s pregnancy is about nine months away, and he needs to start showing up now—both for his new child and for my daughter.The time for action is now. We can’t keep waiting for the ‘right moment’—the right moment is now, and it involves making decisions that prioritize your children’s emotional stability.

What I Expect from a Father

• Consistency: I need a father who shows up every week, not sporadically.This is non-negotiable. Parenting is about presence and predictability, and that’s something I want for my child.

• Accountability: If you claim you want your children to have a relationship, prove it with actions.Words are easy, but actions are what matter. Let’s stop allowing people to tell us who they are without showing it.

• Prioritization: My daughter’s comfort and stability come first. I’m not going to let her be thrown into a blended family without proper structure.Our children deserve more than to be shuffled between homes. They need stability, which can only come from consistent, active involvement from both parents.

This isn’t about being unsympathetic. I have nothing against children being united, but if you want my child to be a part of your new family dynamic, you must first prove you can be a reliable father.We all want our kids to have strong, loving relationships, but it’s essential that those relationships are built on a foundation of trust and consistency. If those qualities aren’t there, it will only lead to more heartache for everyone involved.

Final Thoughts

I’m sharing this because I want to know—have you ever been in a situation where you felt someone expected you to compromise your values? Do you think a mother should just accept half-hearted fatherhood, or should she push back for the sake of her child?The goal here is to create an open space for all of us to have these conversations. Parenting isn’t one-size-fits-all, and there’s no shame in standing up for what’s best for your kids.

Let’s start a real conversation. Drop your thoughts in the comments and share your experiences with inconsistent co-parenting and fatherhood accountability. We deserve better for our children, and together we can hold each other accountable. Our children’s futures depend on us standing strong and demanding what’s best for them.

With love,

Mo

#ParentalResponsibility #CoParentingChallenges #FatherhoodAccountability #ConsistentParenting #BlendedFamily #RelationshipRealTalk #ParentingMatters #InconsistentFatherhood

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