The Sacrifices I Made to Be My Daughter’s Mom

Hello beautiful people! How are you guys doing? How are you feeling?

Today is another day, and that means another post. I love you guys so much, and I try to be consistent because I believe it’s important to express the lessons I’ve learned or what I’m currently going through. My hope is that my experiences inspire someone and strengthen yours.

The Sacrifices I Made to Be My Daughter’s Mom

Today, I started thinking about the sacrifices I’ve made to be my daughter’s mother, and I just wanted to share that with you. I think it would be therapeutic for me and might help someone out there who is navigating a similar situation.

The Past That Led Me Here

When I met my daughter’s father, honestly, it was never supposed to happen. Naturally, I was in high school at the time and dating someone else—I’ll call him Mar.

Mar and I dated for three years, but from the start, it was an abusive relationship. He had a girlfriend every year we were together. The last year, I was completely heartbroken knowing that he and I would not get back together.

It’s crazy now because this man—after all these years—still pops up randomly to tell me he cannot stop thinking about me and that he’s still in love with me. Meanwhile, I’ve moved on and never looked back.

Meeting My Daughter’s Father

I met him senior year of high school. I had a girlfriend who was connected to Mar, and she had a boyfriend who was my daughter’s father’s brother.

She always encouraged me to move on from Mar, and one day, she invited me to a bowling alley where I met my daughter’s father for the first time.

He was the quiet guy in the room, and something about that drew me to him. He wasn’t trying to impress anyone—he just sat in his room playing video games. Looking back, that was something I underestimated.

I started feeling like maybe I could save him. Maybe it was his environment. Maybe it was something else. But the truth is, I didn’t accept him for who he was when I met him. I saw potential instead of reality.

The Signs Were Always There

He was always who he was from day one. I was in a state of depression, low self-esteem, and no self-love, and I never truly saw that he wasn’t going to change.

I was on the rise as a musician. I was connected with big-time producers in the Liberian music scene. My mom always told me that he and I were not a match. She told me:

“Save yourself. You have too much potential to get caught up with someone like this.”

But I convinced myself that I loved him. I convinced myself that I could take him with me on my journey.

Trying to Make It Work

I tried so hard to bring him along. I remember having a performance at a club, and he couldn’t even get in because of the way he was dressed. He never matched my level or where I was heading.

At prom, I paid for his ticket, his friend’s meal, and tried to make it work. But the truth is, I was carrying him the entire time.

Even when I got pregnant, I knew I messed up.

I didn’t want to have a lifelong connection with him, but I made the decision to have my child because I told myself:

“What if this is the only child I can ever have?”

Even then, I was skeptical about being with him.

Looking Back

Now, I look back and realize that every decision I made then impacts my life now. I didn’t fully process the long-term consequences of my actions.

His family always thought it was because I was African that I saw myself as better than them, but that wasn’t the case. It was how I was raised. I was raised to believe in education, structure, and having goals.

But his world was different—his family was on Maury, and they had a few gang members. Their lifestyle and values never aligned with mine.

The Moment Everything Became Clear

When I gave birth to my daughter, that’s when everything became clear. Our relationship had already been rocky, but now it was turning physical. I remember thinking—this feels familiar. It reminded me of what I went through with Mar . And as hard as that was, at least Mar had morals, at least he was in school, at least he had something going for himself. But now? I was accepting even less. That’s when it hit me: this is not the life I want. This is not the love I deserve.

Reflection on Motherhood

As I raise my daughter, I reflect on the pain he caused, the more I want him away from her. I know many people believe that children deserve to have a relationship with their father, but I didn’t want my daughter growing up confused about men. How could I allow someone who hurt me to be a constant presence in her life?

I refused to let her witness a man treating her mother that way. He felt entitled to a relationship with her, and while that may be true in some ways, I couldn’t ignore my fears. If he was capable of being hurtful and abusive toward me, what would stop him from doing the same to her? Unfortunately, many women are forced by the court system to co-parent with men who have caused them immense pain.

Lessons for Other Women

💡 What I Want Other Women to Know

If you’re in a relationship where you feel like you’re carrying the weight, I want you to pause and reflect. Ask yourself:

• Am I constantly making excuses for this person?

• Do I see them for who they are, or just their potential?

• Am I sacrificing my happiness and dreams to “fix” them?

Love should uplift you, not weigh you down.

Final Thoughts & Call to Action

If I could go back, I would tell my younger self:

“Love isn’t about saving someone. Love is about choosing someone who is already whole.”

If you’ve ever sacrificed yourself for love or tried to change someone, I want to hear from you.

✨ Have you ever been in a situation where you ignored the red flags? Let’s talk about it in the comments.

💬 Share your story and let’s uplift each other!

💬 Have you ever looked back and realized a relationship wasn’t what you thought? Drop a 🔥 if you’ve grown from past mistakes, and share your thoughts below!

📢 Don’t forget to like, share, and subscribe for more real-life conversations!

#Motherhood #LifeLessons #Healing #Growth #LoveAndSacrifice #Relationships #SelfWorth #WomensVoices #LessonsLearned #MyJourney #SingleMomLife #DemandMoexhilarated #SingleMomChronicles #ToxicRelationships #KnowYourWorth #LevelUp #HealingFromThePast #WomenSupportingWomen

 If you want to follow my journey or just want to chat, you can find me on social media. I’d love to connect with you!

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