The Weight of Single Motherhood: My Truth and My Boundaries

A Moment to Reflect

Hello, my absolutely brilliant and amazing people. Today has been overwhelming for me, and I just needed a moment to wind down and share my thoughts with you.

I never imagined myself in the position I’m in now. Some would call me a “baby mama,” others would say I made the biggest mistake of my life. The media loves to criticize women like me, and honestly, I’ve criticized myself, too. But today, I want to talk about something deeper—something many women don’t talk about enough.

Choosing the Wrong Partner: My Reality Check

The father of my child and I went to high school together. He took me to prom. If I’m being honest, he was never my first choice. We came from different worlds, and our values didn’t align. But he was kind to me, and nobody else seemed to find him attractive or interesting, so I decided to give him a chance.

I regret that choice.

The back-and-forth between us has been exhausting, and while the full details are for another day, I want to focus on something that weighs heavily on my heart: the lack of responsibility and accountability when co-parenting with an absent or inconsistent father.

Financial Support: A Father’s Responsibility

When my daughter expressed interest in dance and ballet, I wanted to make sure she had those opportunities—because I know what it feels like to want something and not have access to it. I asked her father to help with the costs. His response?

“I don’t have money for you.”

I told him it wasn’t for me; it was for our child. He ignored me. Minimized my feelings. I made it work, paying for both ballet and dance on my own. But that moment showed me just how different our perspectives on parenting are.

Family Manipulation and Financial Abuse

My daughter’s grandmother has also played a manipulative role in this journey. She expected me to give her a portion of the child support I received—money meant for my daughter’s well-being. Against my better judgment, I agreed to give her some. But when I only offered $1,000 instead of the $2,500 she expected, she screamed and cried on the phone. That was my breaking point. I blocked her.

Child support is for the child, not for others to benefit from.

A Dangerous Environment

It’s not just the financial neglect that bothers me—it’s the lack of concern for my child’s safety.

• I found inappropriate videos on my daughter’s iPad.

• My daughter told me children in her father’s home were watching explicit content.

• One of the kids had an inappropriate Q-tip SA towards my child.

When I brought this to her father’s attention, he laughed it off like it was nothing. That level of nonchalance is disturbing.

The Day I Feared for My Child’s Safety

One of the most alarming moments in this journey happened when her father picked her up. He was driving with one hand, smoking a bong with the other. I was in complete shock.

When I confronted him, he gaslit me—blasting music and pretending not to hear me. When I asked for my daughter back, he told me to call the police because he wasn’t returning her.

Even when the police arrived, they let him keep my daughter because I had agreed to let him take her. Despite physically seeing him smoking while driving, they did nothing.

His girlfriend even came outside to curse me out—this same girl I once helped when she was pepper-sprayed. That’s when I knew I was done trying to keep the peace.

The Announcement That Changed Nothing

After months of no communication, my daughter received a Facebook message from her father:

“My girlfriend is having a baby.”

That was his big news. And suddenly, he wanted to bring my daughter back into his life—but only because it was convenient for him.

He doesn’t know her shoe size. He doesn’t know her grades. He doesn’t know her struggles or her achievements. He is not involved, yet expects my daughter to be excited about his new child.

Breaking the Cycle: Setting Boundaries

For years, I was told:

“It’s not about you.”

“A good mother sacrifices everything, even if it means being mistreated.”

“You have to be the bigger person.”

I reject that narrative.

I have learned that boundaries are not cruelty; they are self-respect. I am no longer bending over backward to accommodate disrespect, manipulation, and neglect.

When I don’t have the money to provide for my daughter, I find a way—even if that means donating plasma. Meanwhile, the man who helped create her makes excuses.

A Message to Other Mothers in Similar Situations

If you are co-parenting with someone who:

• Undermines you

• Refuses to contribute

• Gaslights you into thinking you are the problem

• Expects you to take on all the responsibility alone

You do not have to accept it.

You do not have to bend.

You do not have to break.

You do not have to tolerate disrespect.

I share my story because I know I’m not alone. So many women are in this position, struggling to be both mother and father, taking the blame while carrying the weight of it all.

Final Thoughts: Reclaiming My Peace

I am currently pursuing my bachelor’s in social work, and this situation has drained me emotionally, mentally, and financially.

I don’t want to live in a constant state of protection mode. I want to be free, to feel safe, to feel supported.

But until that day comes, I will continue to protect myself and my daughter. And I will never apologize for enforcing boundaries that ensure our well-being.

To all the mothers out there doing it alone: You are not alone. If you’ve experienced something similar, share your thoughts in the comments. Let’s support each other and create a space where we can uplift, empower, and educate one another.

Let’s start a conversation.

SingleMomStrength #CoParentingStruggles #MotherhoodUnfiltered #SettingBoundaries #DemandMoexhilaratedLifeDiaries

If you want to follow my journey or just want to chat, you can find me on social media. I’d love to connect with you!

• Facebook: Follow me on Facebook (https://www.facebook.com/profile.php?id=100091134962245&mibextid=LQQJ4d)

• X: Join me on X ( https://x.com/morgathac/status/1761961898717622289?s=46)

• Instagram: Follow my Instagram (https://www.facebook.com/profile.php?id=100091134962245&mibextid=LQQJ4d)

• TikTok: Check out my TikTok (https://www.tiktok.com/@demandmoexhilaratedytube?_t=ZP-8tllw4Y8J5z&_r=1

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